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a sad story

March 29, 2004

I've been told of late that some of my entries in this blog are a tad miserabilist, and that perhaps I should write more of happy things, and funny moments. Rubbish. Miserable is funny, and I'll prove it.
When I was about 14 I killed a mouse. Of course I didn't mean to, being at the time even more of a hippy-environmentalist-planet&whale-saver than I am now, I accidentally trod on the poor creature in the dark hallway of my parent's house. My mum had previously said it was my responsibility to kill it anyway, the piles of half empty plates and breadcrumbs around my bed apparently being the sole reason there was a mouse cohabiting with us in the first place.
The funny thing was, when the big light had been turned on and the family summoned, my mum and I realised that the mouse had been killed right slap-bang in the middle of the room, and as any self-respecting zoologist or pest-control officer would tell you, mice never traverse across an open space, always choosing to skirt the outside up against a wall.
So, after several internet searches and much 14 year old soul-searching a conclusion was reached, the only possible explanation; the mouse had gone to the middle of the room on purpose, and had actually scurried under my foot as I clumped through the house. The mouse was suicidal.

Sitting in front of daytime TV all day everyday does funny things to your head. One of the strangest side effects has what I term 'cerebral-discharge', or rather the random spilling of terrible creative ideas into my 'terry and gaby'-anaesthetized cortex. One of the worst (or best) of these ideas has been my 'TV advert review blog'. On similar lines to 75 or less, I will write short witty reviews of adverts I see on the tv. Anyway, the 'workinprogress' version (or what techno-devotee-silicon heads call beta) is here.

i Almost bounced off the walls when I read the line-up for the neesh recommended 'return to new york' big bash thing at SEone - Here - even if I know I wouldn't leave the room with both queenz of noize and the lovely lovely lovely nadia ksaiba. Now I've just got to find the £20 entrance fee, perhaps I should become a rat catcher?

 Posted by Chris at 03:16 PM |  Category: Life

a dream

March 18, 2004

I had a dream. I was working in the Dickens Inn and it was ram-packed, the busiest night of the year. All the staff decided to get together after work, so we grabbed a bottle of Stolichnaya and headed back to someone's flat. At the party I saw this girl from work that I'd been flirting with all night - an absolute vision; in my dream she moved in slow motion, a halo of otherworldly light dappling in her shiny black shoulder length hair, cheek and hip bones all over the place. I walked over to her and whispered in her ear "I've lived in London for a month and a half now and you are the most beautiful thing I've seen in this dirty old town". "So far...?" she asked, "the most beautiful thing you've seen so far?". "No I don't want to presume I'll ever see something more beautiful than you" I replied (my cheese rating goes through the roof in dreams). She smiled at me and said "I don't believe you by the way, I think you're full of shit". Pretending momentarily to be wounded, I looked up into her eyes and said "when I was a young boy my dad taught me to always tell the pretty girls that they're clever, and always tell the clever girls that they're pretty". She fell silent for a second, mulling it over, then suddenly asked "are you trying to say I'm not beautiful?", "no" I said, "I'm trying to say you are beautiful".
Which is where my dream ended, where does this stuff come from?

 Posted by Chris at 04:01 PM |  Category: Spaz

Air Hostess - Busted

1. Air Hostess - Busted
2. Sorrow or the Song - The Coral
3. South is Only a Home - the fiery furnaces
4. Galang - M.I.A.
5. Lollipop Lady - Les Georges Leningrad
6. if it's not with you - Pheonix
7. She's hearing voices - Bloc party
8. Punk Grammar - Shrag
9. Human Fly [The Cramps] - 2 many djs
10. Rap it up - bob holman
11. Ashtray Heart - The White Stripes
12. The Blower's Daughter - Damien rice
13. Girls & Boys (Bugman Remix) [Blur] - 2 many Djs
14. Nerdy - Busted
15. The Way you move - outkast

 Posted by Chris at 02:05 PM |  Category: Playlists

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