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stupidness...

November 30, 2003

Oh my god... so i bought a lovely new phone on friday. it's one of those new-fangled jobbies with a camera on the back: grazing the line between 'proper' pub showing off, capturing the moment your mates squeeze their malformed faces into a smile, and utter uselessness with the grainy, dark, unremarkable product. So as i was struggling to send a poorly taken and unquestionably dark and grainy picture across the world wide internet to my email address and getting nowhere, i threw the wretched thing down onto my bed only for it to jump straight back up and land slap bang wallop into the freshly made cup of tea which was resting between my legs.
the end.

 Posted by Chris at 11:53 AM |  Category: Spaz

Beat You Up - Ping Pong Bitches

1. Beat you up - ping pong bitches
2. Culture Vulture - chicks on speed
3. At the lodge - ikara colt
4. sister saviour - the rapture
5. There's always room on the broom - liars
6. tongue tied - erase errata
7. big brat - phantom planet
8. too lost in you - sugarbabes
9. uncontrollable - 28 costumes
10. music when the lights go out/never never - the libertines
11. i get a kick out of you - jamie cullum
12. do miss america - ryan adams
13. south - the fiery furnaces
14. she lives in my lap - outkast feat. rosario dawson
15. burn the clock - free*land

 Posted by Chris at 11:31 AM |  Category: Playlists

a list

November 27, 2003

I hate being pestered. I am always pestered. “Chris, don’t be late for work again”, “Chris do the dishes”, “Chris, eat some food”, "Chris, stop eating us out of house and home”, “Chris, come to the pub”, “Chris, email me everyday or I will get cross and dump you” (Emily), “Chris, lighten up”.
Grrrrr… I’m so angry it’s like being a lovely smooth skinned 17 year old again. Except back then I had friends, and I definitely wasn’t pestered as much.
Anyway, moving on I have something to share – too late to beat certain magazine's end of year rush of lists, and too poorly judged and unfinished to actually withhold any credibility; this is my belated list of probably the bestest albums ever released maybe in 2003:
1. Echoes – The Rapture
2. Boy in Da Corner – Dizzee Rascal
3. You Can Feel Me – Har Mar Superstar
4. Fever To Tell – Yeah Yeah Yeahs
5. Room on Fire – The Strokes
6. Rooney – Rooney
7. Elephant – The White Stripes
8. Youth and Young Manhood – The Kings of Leon
9. Music To Watch Girls Cry – Andy Votel
10. Take Them On, On Your Own – Black Rebel Motorcycle Club
11. Magic & Medicine – The Coral
12. Make Up The Breakdown – Hot Hot Heat
13. The Love Below/Speakerboxxx – Outkast
14. Dead Cities, Red Seas and Lost Ghosts – M83
15. Danse Macabre – The Faint
16. 99 Cents – Chicks on Speed
and that is where I run out of good albums, good memory of what albums are good, and good brains of how to write properly.
I’m still angry. I’m Still being pestered, even right at this moment My ipod is saying “Chris, You are a fucking cocksucker so I am going to crash whenever you plug me into your computer. You cocksucker”. I hate disdainful ipods.

 Posted by Chris at 09:04 PM |  Category: Spaz

Uncontrollable - 28 Costumes

November 23, 2003

1. uncontrollable - 28 costumes
2. hands down - dashboard confessional
3. get back - the beatles
4. 23 minutes with the dust boys - the dust boys
5. bowtie - outkast
6. sister saviour - the rapture
7. last week kyle quit the band - tenacious d
8. so impossible - dashboard confessional
9. shake yer dix - peaches
10. rise or fall - black rebel motorcyle club
11. bill mccai - the coral
12. emerge (dfa remix) - fischerspooner
13. what u sittin' on? - dm & jemini
14. chauffeur - the fitness
15. beat you up - ping pong bitches

 Posted by Chris at 02:53 PM |  Category: Playlists

james bourne appreciation society

November 20, 2003

i've realised that i totally missed the boat in the naming of my page. a love for all things charlie had blinded me to the fact that james from busted is better in every way, shape or form. additionally my so-called resemblance to said popstar could have easily led a more nimble mind to the conclusion that 'the bourne identity' would have been a fucking great weblog name.

 Posted by Chris at 12:13 PM |  Comments (5) |  Category: Internet

tom petty=me apparently

November 18, 2003

this is for the scan-dan, thank god i'm norwegian.

everyone wants the streets to be made of food

 Posted by Chris at 12:16 PM |  Category: Spaz

So Impossible - Dashboard Confessional

November 16, 2003

1. So impossible - Dashboard Confessional
2. Is this it - Ryan Adams
3. Friday Night - the darkness
4. Chauffer - The fitness -mp3-
4. try honestly - billy talent
5. 12.51 - the strokes
6. shopping for blood - franz ferdinand
7. die on the rope - the distillers
8. gin & juice - the gourds
9. being in love (live) - swearing at motorists
10. hey ya! - outkast
11. heaven - the rapture
12. hands down - dashboard confessional
13. Rock city - Royce da 5'9
14. if the works - youth movie soundtrack strategies
15. leizah - the coral

 Posted by Chris at 02:51 PM |  Category: Playlists

a request

It’s been a long day of wilko lovin’ and rooney squealing, but now it is over and I must retire to bed because tomorrow I will accompany chad in bargain booze when the kids go to school. We’re all just waiting for ‘her’ to come in; it’ll be sooo funny.
There has also been more fun today: I planted a tree, found all my old copies of the face and even started on the heralded ‘list’, my top 10/20/30ish albums of 2003. The roll call will overwhelm. Why don’t all you bitches help me by telling me your favourite album of 2003? Emails to abougu@yahoo.com.

 Posted by Chris at 10:59 AM |  Category: Spaz

Hallowe'en part 2.

November 14, 2003

Back to hallowe’en then. Drunk and sat in the centre of the barfly on one half of a pair of couches the three of us find ourselves sat opposite a large proportion of the bands that played that night, alex from franz Ferdinand, dustin from hot hot heat and Eleanor from the fiery furnaces (note: an all alliteration gig). More drinks were consumed and after a quick chat with some mtv guy about the relative merits of his ‘thank god I’m Norwegian’ and my ‘yo! Richard bacon’ t-shirts chad and I felt compelled to do something vaguely journalistic, so as chad went to get his phone which has a voice record function I introduced myself to alex kapranos from the lovely franz Ferdinand, and asked for a quick interview. As we were walking outside to do the interview chad pulled me aside, “chris, I can’t figure out how to do the record thing on my phone…” panic set in. “ok well just take notes then” I suggested not really realising the full implications of this as alex turned and indicated a spot for us to stand. “ok, thanks for allowing us to do this” I said, half slurring I’m sure. “I seem to have broken my dictaphone, so my friend chad here will be taking shorthand notes”, “he can do shorthand?” asked alex, obviously suspicious. “erm, yeah.”. I love lying.
The sad thing about doing a fake interview when drunk with a very poor way of recording what’s said is that when it goes well (as it did; he spoke for over five minutes in response to my first question) you are left with nothing to show. Hence after at least 15 minutes of talking chad and I thanked the man for his time and scurried back to the throng to see if what chad had written was legible and comprehensive; it wasn’t.
So Here’s the interview in its ‘revised-the-next-day-whilst-still-drunk-by-chad’ form:
Franz Ferdinand Alex Kapranos interview – we rock
q. what’s it like being the new thing? (or something)
a. I don’t know, a lot of new bands have got good press, and it hasn’t made them better bands. It fascinates me how the music press can influence popularity so much. When we started the band I set a rule for myself that I won’t allow press to affect me, journalists have a lot less power with something like films – it’s best to watch it and decide for yourself if you like it or not.
q. in that case would you prefer to distance yourself from the celebrity you are likely to achieve?
a. to me there’s no distinction, [then something about celebrity previously being ‘respect for the upper classes] I want respect for my music not for being a celebrity and doing the things that they usually do.
q. [something about lord byron, and how he chose to eventually shun celebrity]
a. [conversation about byron’s appearance and club foot impressions]
q. new single?
a. January
q. album?
a. album after single and maybe a live album on the internet
q. do you aspirations to attempt to ‘break’ America?
a. we’re going to America at the end of November and playing the mercury lounge, I’d just like to see what happens, there’s no big American marketing plan in action. Then we’re touring Europe with hot hot heat and the fiery furnaces again.
-----------------------
as you can probably see theres about 2 minutes of chat there but, although blurry, i'm sure we talked for 15 minutes; including full details of album and single releases. so let this be a lesson to all drunken gig-goers, please don't attempt an interview - especially without suitable audio recording equiptment.
next: the remaining hallowe'en stories. including irish girls, zane lowe looks in a mirror and walking with poppers.

 Posted by Chris at 05:42 PM |  Category: Reviews

SEBs muff

November 09, 2003

all you ardent popbitch readers would have already seen this, but for chad and any others, here's sophie ellis bextor flashing norway. need a new website of choice now that friends reunited and friendster have become boring? too straight for gaydar? try group hug! Anonymously confess to all your deepest dirty fantasies. btw: you may have noticed that i've got a playlist page now - it's the top 15 songs that i've played to myself this week, and i'm going to update it every week. it's really self-gratifying nonsense.
p.s. also, emily i'm sorry.

 Posted by Chris at 12:54 PM |  Category: Internet

Under Control - The Strokes

1. under control - the strokes
2. leizah - the coral
3. shopping for blood - franz ferdinand
4. is this it - ryan adams
5. hey ya! - outkast
6. inertiatic esp - the mars volta
7. high and dry - jamie cullum
8. heaven - the rapture
9. being in love (live) - swearing at motorists
10. what katie did - the libertines
11. we're all in love - B.R.M.C.
12. got some teeth - obie trice
13. run into flowers - m83
14. what's the dillio - mest
15. hair dude, you're stepping on my mystique - out hud

 Posted by Chris at 12:29 PM |  Category: Playlists

hollyoaks again...

November 06, 2003

Did anyone see the special late-night (=saucy) Hollyoaks last night? It was immense! I only saw the end, but that was enough because they finally killed off the two painfully tedious and hair-pullingly irritating people in whole show - toby and that ugly blonde bitch, i forget her name. All hail the new age!

 Posted by Chris at 12:04 PM |  Category: Television

new age pop

November 05, 2003

It seems to me that the pre-teen age group is poorly catered for when it comes to music. Considered too young for ‘serious’ music they are fed on a diet of claptrap manufactured ‘one blonde-two brunette-one black guy’ boy bands and mutton dressed as talent pop princesses. The problem is ingrained in our society, and now so old that these girls (and boys) are growing up still affected, a thirty two year old woman with a Phixx poster on her wall is not a pretty sight. Even rational, well educated adults have a problem with pop. Take the author of pop-humour site popjustice; even below the clever slogans and satire an unrivalled love of pop lurks.
For this reason I have decided to take matters into my own hands, for too long have pre-teens been fobbed off with poor excuses for music; remember for every Justin timberlake there is a Joey Fatone, for every Rachel Stevens an Evil Bradly. My idea lends largely from S Club 8, in that these kids should entertain their own age group. It’s no good an 11 year old getting wet at the idea of a 27 year old man, so all of my groups will be pre-teens themselves. Firstly if Pete Waterman happens to be reading this, HIRE ME – stock, aitken, waterman and Gornell, you’ve got to move with the times old man; and you know I’m right.
Band Proposals for the Pre-teen market share:
1. ‘The Libertweens’ – ok so maybe the name needs a bit of work, but the idea remains the same, 4 ruggedly handsome 12 year old boys with heroin and crack problems sing songs about love whilst wearing a selection of ripped denim and leather. Their songs will include ‘time for cheerios’ (based on the true story of when one of the singers watched the mayday riots on the news whilst eating cheerios), and ‘Horrorfilm’ (about how scary it is to watch horror films). The band will undergo many trials and tribulations in their career, including the time that one of the singers gets grounded for two months after breaking a window (with a football).
2. Of course you can’t satisfy everyone with drug-addled-indie; so the idea for my second group will fill the electroclash pre-teen niche market. The group will be called ‘Kids on Speed’. Based in germany they will played broken down beats and electronica, made on mattel childs keyboards. Their live shows will be a revelation, with free lemon fizz bombs and strawberry tubes for all the fans, and face painting will be mandatory for everyone.

 Posted by Chris at 02:09 PM |  Category: Spaz

Hallowe'en Part 1.

So having finally regained sobriety 5 days later I find myself trying to articulate the carnage of Hallowe’en, and failing quite miserably. Chad had suggested it weeks earlier, but in my current state of trying to avoid nights out I hadn’t really considered it that much, as the day got closer however and it became apparent that it fell on Hallowe’en, the bands were good and I yearned to get drunk - the prospect grew in stature. “Gonzo on tour, fo’shizzle!” Chad screams from the rooftop of bargain booze. “We’re gonna rockizzle the jointizzle!” My ‘Yo! Richard Bacon’ T-shirt drew attention but no-one really got it. Chad wore the most bizarre combination of clothes I have ever seen (blue trampoline club polo shirt, red tie with a big paintbrush on it, yellow corduroy jacket) and then had the nerve to say I was the one who looked idiotic. Inside the place was pretty packed; Franz Ferdinand seemed to get a very good reception and they were my favourite band of the night. Hot hot heat and the fiery furnaces were good but don’t seem to satisfy the children of the new rock revolution as much as they should do, the strokes have spoiled us all; and maybe the words of Johnny Borrell should be heeded before it’s too late. Anyway chad chatted up some Israeli bird and then tried to palm her off on me when he got bored of her. The three of us found our way to the couch in the centre of the room, and the world closed in around us.
Shit it’s so late. I’m going to continue this little story tomorrow. Stayed tuned for the next instalment featuring: Chad takes poppers, Zane lowe loses his marbles, we speak to franz Ferdinand front man Alex, and we are sorely humiliated at table football by ‘thank god I’m Norwegian’ man.

 Posted by Chris at 01:53 PM |  Category: Reviews

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